From "Back to School" (1986)
Caution: Contains profanity and ethnic slurs.
Prof. Turgeson:
Welcome to Contemporary American history. I'm Professor Turgeson. I know a lot
of people think history is just facts, just information about the past, but not
me. I hold history very sacred. Sacred. The way a farmer looks at the Earth and
holds it sacred. The way a Christian takes the Bible and he holds it sacred. The
way a lot of people hold their marriage sacred. That's how I feel about it.
So why don't we dive
right in by interpreting one of the
easiest events in the last twenty years of American history. Now, can someone
tell me why, in 1975 we pulled our
troops out of Vietnam?
Eager Student: The
failure of Vietnamization to win popular support caused an ongoing erosion of
confidence in the various American-backed but illegal Saigon regimes.
Prof. Turgeson: Is
she right? 'Cause I know that's the popular version of what went on there. I
know a lot of people like to believe that. I wish I could, but I was there. I
wasn't here in a classroom hoping I was right, thinking about it. I was up to
my knees in rice paddies with guns that
didn't work, going up against Charlie slugging
it out with him, while pussies like you were
back here partyin', puttin' headbands on doin' drugs, listening to their
goddamn Beatle albums!
Thornton Melon:
Hey, Professor, take it easy, will ya? These kids were in grade school at the
time. And me I'm not a fighter, I'm a lover.
Prof. Turgeson: Well,
I didn't know you wanted to get involved
with the discussion, Mr. Helper. But since you want to help, maybe you
can help me, OK? You remember that thing we had about thirty years ago called
the Korean conflict?
Thornton Melon:Yeah.
Prof. Turgeson:
Where we failed to achieve victory. How come we didn't cross the38th parallel and
push those rice-eaters back to the Great Wall of China and take it apart brick
by brick and nuke them back into the fuckin' stone age forever? How come? Tell
me? Why? Say it! Say it!
Thornton Melon: All
right, I'll say it. 'Cause Truman was too much of a pussy wimp to let MacArthur
go in and blow the shit out those commie bastards!
Prof. Turgeson: Good
answer. Good answer. I like the way you think. I'm gonna be watching you.
Thornton Melon: Good
teacher. He really seems to care. About what, I have no idea.
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